The Daily What

Lunch Links:

• FAA computer glitch leads to flight delays nationwide.

• Fox News anchor joins Onion News Network. [Enter joke about easy transition due to both being fake news organizations here.]

• Bad: Emergency landing. Worse: In lava.

• Crane drops by Santa Rosa home for an announced visit.

• Parents take away kid’s Xbox so he does the only logical thing: Calls 911 to complain.

• Our Lady of Life Savings.

• Old dude takes 370 mile trip to fetch newspaper. Alvin Straight not impressed.

• Better Know A Dead Person: Jeanne-Claude, world-renowned artist and wife of Christo, dead at 74.

• Lunch List: Five Hot Dogs That Will Kill You.

[photo via.]

Yeah, I think I’ll hang back and take the next one thanks.

[via.]

The Intertubes Are Leaking of the Day: Lenape Middle School math teacher Matthew Curran handed out the day’s homework assignment on a sheet of paper that contained a macro plucked directly from the inner recesses of the darkest of 4chan corners. Surprisingly, some parents had a problem with that.

From The Intelligencer:

The mother learned that her son, the only black student in his eighth-grade pre-algebra class at Lenape Middle School, was teased by another student when the assignment was distributed.

“One of the kids in the classroom turned around and said, ‘Is that your father?’ ” she said.

“We are highly insulted and offended. We sent him to school to learn pre-algebra. He should be protected from this stuff, not have it thrown in his face…He gets enough (racial slurs) and negativity from the kids. To have the teacher encourage it?” […]

Curran says he “frequently uses photos and other illustrations on his work sheets to engage the students,” and that he came about this particular image after plugging the phrase “multiply and divide” into Google.

“I chose it because it said ‘no way,’ which is a comment my students make when I require them to show each calculation,” Curran wrote in an e-mail to The Intelligencer. “I had no idea that I might offend anyone. I am very sorry for any distress that this has caused my students and the community.”

Ur God: Where is he now?

See Also: Magic-raping explanation.

[via.]

Savage Chickens.

[Ed: YEEAAAAHH!]

Tee of the Day: “Who Is Watching” by Warren Hart.

Hart’s “SFL” tee did so well as a first-time TeeFury submission that he was quickly invited back to peddle his fan-favorite Rorschach/Hope design. The insta-classic tee is available — today only! — for $9 and an Internet high-five.

(Internet high-five optional.)

[buy.]

Morning Links:

• “Your name is being induced by blazes of magma”: Make Me Mighty.

• Cash4Gold < Cats For Gold. (via.)

• Single Serving Site of the day: It’s (K)not Wood. (via.)

• Morning Distraction: Unicorn Vs. Narwhal.

• Morning Wood: Kayden Kross is part of a balanced breakfast.

• Morning List: The Ten Most Influential Internet Moments of the Decade.

[image via.]

Late Links:

• 19th century law still on the books orders Parisian women to go pantsless.

• I don’t remember seeing this in my complementary Sky Mall catalog.

• Cleavage Wednesday: Leighton Meester, Leona Lewis, Beth Ditto, and Jodie Sweetin.

• Lingerie Wednesday: Bar Refaeli.

• BREAKING: Carmen Electra is an attention whore.

• Keeley Hazell would rather go naked than wear fur. We would rather she did too.

• TDW Select: Sophie Howard.

• Get To Know A Hottie: Riley Shy.

• International Beauty of the Day: Maya Karuna.

• Johnny Depp named People Magazine’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2009.

• Sasha Grey to appear in Brody Condon’s “Case” — a play based on William Gibson’s triple-crown winning classic, Neuromancer.

• Bad: You hit a cyclist while texting and driving. Worse: You were in the middle of texting about a drug deal.

• Heeb: Moshe Kasher: UFC Isn’t Just for Douchebags Anymore.

• Late List: 50 Greatest MMA Dominations.

[photo via.]